From the ANM archive · Teaching Tuesday · Original social post: 14 July 12:39
Teaching Tuesday: When “I Can’t” Is Mistaken for “I Won’t”
An autistic child, young person, or adult may appear to refuse an instruction, avoid a task, or be “difficult.” But sometimes they are not choosing not to do it—they are overwhelmed and genuinely cannot manage the demand at that moment.
This can be especially hard to recognise when someone is masking.
Masking is when an autistic person hides their differences or forces themselves to act in ways that seem more acceptable to others. They may stay quiet, copy others, push through discomfort, or appear fine at school, work or church—then become exhausted, distressed or shut down later at home.
Behind behaviour that looks like defiance may be anxiety, sensory overload, fear of getting something wrong, difficulty with change, or the pressure of trying to cope.
A small change in our response can make a big difference:
Pause before assuming bad behaviour.
Ask what support is needed.
Give time, choices and clear information.
Remember that being quiet does not always mean someone is coping.
Let us replace judgment with curiosity and support.
If you missed our co-founder’s article When “I Can’t” Is Mistaken for “I Won’t”: My Journey with PDA and Why I’m Sharing It, find link below:
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/african-neurodiversity-movement_this-is-the-first-article-of-the-series-activity-7482384844312739840-tsE-?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAGqO1FsB2BJTSQyZTwk4tLOo9GdlXqiTck8
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