From the ANM archive · Family Friday · Original social post: 24 July 08:00
What if your child isn’t refusing to tell you what’s wrong?
What if they genuinely don’t know yet?
One of the biggest misunderstandings about ADHD and autism is assuming that every child can immediately explain how they feel.
Many neurodivergent children struggle to identify, understand or describe their emotions. Some experience alexithymia—a difference that makes putting feelings into words difficult. Others become overwhelmed so quickly that their nervous system reacts long before they can explain what’s happening.
That doesn’t mean they don’t care.
It doesn’t mean they’re being dramatic.
And it certainly doesn’t mean they’re choosing to be difficult.
Sometimes frustration comes out as anger.
Sometimes anxiety looks like avoidance.
Sometimes sadness sounds like, “Leave me alone.”
Sometimes excitement looks so intense that it is mistaken for poor behaviour.
As parents, grandparents, siblings and caregivers, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is believing their experience—even when they cannot explain it.
Instead of asking:
❌ “Why are you behaving like this?”
Try asking:
💙 “What might your body be trying to tell you?”
💙 “Would it help if we made things quieter?”
💙 “Would you rather draw, write or show me?”
Support begins with curiosity.
Not judgement.
This Family Friday, let’s remember that our children should never have to perform emotion in familiar ways before we believe their feelings are real.
Because thriving isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about having the right support.
💬 How has your child shown you they were overwhelmed without using words?
Let’s learn from one another.
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